Sometimes, there’s a little voice in my head. The voice whispers to me whenever I set a goal. It spoke when I started a business and appears whenever I write or dare try something new. And it says this:
“If what I’m doing isn’t perfect, I shouldn’t do it at all.”
Does this voice sound familiar?
This is the voice of perfection. Isn’t perfection is something we should strive for? What’s wrong with perfect? Yet the quest for perfection is often an excuse to give up early or not try at all. Perfection is a lie we tell to protect ourselves from failure. If something we’re doing isn’t perfect, why do it?
But I know that’s an excuse. Life’s too short to wait for perfection. Here are some approaches that have worked for me to quiet that voice.
1) Aim for Good Enough
I’m imperfect. You’re imperfect. The world is imperfect, too. So why should we expect more from what we do?
Aiming for a good enough solution has helped. This meant working with a solution that was not quite perfect. I’ve published articles and launched products with full knowledge of their rough edges.
What’s more important is to ensure we’re doing the work. We’re achieving goals. We’re developing ourselves. And we’re making the world a better, kinder place.
When I do this, something remarkable happens. Even if what I’m working on today isn’t perfect, that doesn’t mean it won’t get better. As long as I keep trying, I’ll keep improving. The satisfaction of completing something good enough is much better than waiting for the perfect score that will never come.
2) Practice Self-Compassion
Think of a time when you created something imperfect. Did you later ruminate on a different action you could have taken? Did you beat yourself up about the outcome not going your way? I’ve been guilty of this. And I’m not alone—research shows perfectionism has increased over time.
Here’s what I thought to myself…
“You shouldn’t have even tried.”
“Why can’t you do this right?”
“You’re good for nothing.”
Would I ever say this to a colleague, a friend, or someone I loved? Of course not. So, why would I say this to myself? I’m trying the best I can. My best isn’t perfect, and it never can be. That’s okay.
So, I try to show myself more compassion these days. Compassion makes perfectionism easier to handle.
3) Start Small
To paraphrase systems thinker John Gall, every complex system that works evolved from a simpler system that worked. What we want to achieve is built upon systems—habits, relationships, businesses, and careers. To build these complex systems, we need to start with something simple.
We didn’t land on the moon in a day. The goal took years of discoveries and simpler systems to achieve. My ambitions are far less grandiose: sometimes, I just want to spend more time reading.
So, it’s okay for our next step not to be perfect, not to be groundbreaking, not to take us in one giant leap from the Earth to the moon. It’s okay to take small steps. Those might be the only ones that work.
And that little voice? It will be happy with nothing less than achieving that massive goal today. When reality gets in the way, it says to give up. Yet, by starting with simple systems, I can build my way there. Small wins compound over time.
The Bottom Line
The voice of perfection never entirely goes away. But we can do our best to quieten it. We strive to do all the good we can.